European Nudism Quest
European Nudism - There’s a stripper pole in Gosia’s bedroom. She asked me what I thought about it. She wanted my first impression. I told her the truth. I didn’t know what to think about it. She sort of smiled. She was relieved I hadn’t made any false assumptions. She told me she never danced for a man. The stripper pole was there for her and her friends. She wants so desperately for her fellow Polish women to come out of their shells. She thought having get-togethers in her bedroom and playing with a stripper pole might help them break down their walls and learn from each other the truth about their womanhood. Like with most of Gosia’s endeavors, I doubt she thinks this one was entirely successful.
Gosia feels cramped. She isn’t just divorced from Peter. She’s also divorced from her first husband, the father of her two eldest daughters. Living under the same roof with an ex-husband and a trio of step-siblings is hard. It’s harder when they all expect something from you. It becomes impossible when no one stops to consider what it is that you might want – not just as a mother or as an ex-wife but as a person. I wanted to tell Gosia that her problem isn’t uncommon. It’s part of what I call my arch-enemy: patriarchy.
I remember the first evening I spent at Cezar. There was a couple who had gone to Iran. They described to me the anger seething in the faces of the countless veiled women they had encountered. It was pure resentment directed indiscriminately at everyone and everything – but especially at other women and ultimately I believe each person directs it towards himself. That is the goal of patriarchy: subordination in the form of self-hatred.
That same evening Darek joked about a verbal gaffe of mine. I had wanted to say that something had been off to the side, meaning not in a central location. Instead of saying that, I used a similar sounding word that means perverted. In jest Darek had started describing Cezar as a resort situated on the most perverted hill in Poland. Two days later I learned that not only was Darek divorced but that his wife wouldn’t let him see his children. She considers him a weirdo. His practice of naturism she uses as a case in point. When Darek started describing his ex as the type of woman who sits around the house all day and does nothing but watch television, I thought to myself, “Who’s the weirdo?”
Darek hides his pain well. Gosia is another story. I hear patriarchy’s stamp in every word she shares with me. It’s in her self-doubt. It’s in her jealousy. It’s in her sadness.
Gosia is fortunate in one way. Her anger has a release. She doesn’t have to wear a veil. She can run around her house naked. If only that were enough.
Gosia is coming with me. Together we are crossing Europe in a quest to find freedom, equality, and mutual self-respect. We’re searching for nudism.
Category: Michal's Naturist European Blogs